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Understanding Loss and Grief

At some point in life, we have lost someone or something. These can be loss of a person either by death or losing friendships or relationships. A loss of something dear such as a pet or even losing a job, a chance to advance one’s career, a loss of a body part such as being amputated due to medical conditions and so many things that we have lost and made us feel sad and depressed at some point.
There are 5 stages that we need to have an understanding on when we are going through grief and loss and help us in our healing process

1. Denial
This is the first stage of loss and grief, at this point one feels like it’s a dream and one shall wake up and find all is well. In these stage the fact that loss has happened is not real and the belief that someone or something is still there is very strong. This is a coping way of the loss.

2. Anger
At this second stage, a person goes through anger. An emotion that we feel is manageable and easily expressed when ones expectations are not met. Anger has no limits it extends also to people, friends, and family and to God. Underneath the anger, there is pain. Anger is just an indication of the intensity of your love.

3. Bargaining
This stage is characterized by ‘what if…’ and ‘Only if…..’ statements. Guilt is a companion at this stage. The wish is to go back in time, think we could have done things differently. We try to negotiate our way out of the hurt.

4. Depression
After a period of bargaining, we enter into feelings of emptiness and pain which goes deeper and we tend to withdraw ourselves form people, the want to be alone, a lot of sadness that does not end. One feels these will remain in this stage forever but this is not a sigh of mental illness but a sign in a process of healing.

5. Acceptance
This is the last stage, it does not mean that the pain is gone is the acceptance that loss has happened and whatever is lost is not coming back. Accepting this is a permanent reality. We can never replace what is lost but we can form new connection and find out way

After the se stages we start to live again but have to give grief it’s time for the healing process to take place.

BY PSYCHOLOGIST 
MAGGIE MUKAMI.

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